


When The Lock Breaks

by FindYourAnchor (DustyHalo)



Series: Foxverse (Sterek Bingo 2019) [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek Hale is a survivor, M/M, Mentioned Kate Argent, Past abuse and rape mentioned, Stiles Stilinski is Seventeen Years Old
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-09 23:28:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18927130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DustyHalo/pseuds/FindYourAnchor
Summary: Everyone has a door in their mind they'd rather keep shut.





	When The Lock Breaks

**Author's Note:**

> There's nothing horribly graphic in this but if you want to skip this one you can without being super lost since I'm trying to write these as stand alone moments in time as much as possible.  
> Written for Sterek Bingo 2019.  
> Theme: Opening A Door

Stiles was restless. Derek could see it in the way Stiles was pacing. The way he couldn't sit still for more than three minutes before he'd need to be on his feet again to cross the length of the room to the window then back to the couch. It was making it hard for Derek to read his book.

A lot of things about Stiles in general made it hard to focus. His voice. His laugh. The way he moved. The way he curled into Derek when he pulled him close in bed. The rise and fall of his chest as he slept. The unique rhythm of his heartbeat that Derek had grown used to falling asleep to at night.

Derek pushed the wave of love that swelled inside his chest down and locked the door on it in his mind. That's how Derek survived ever since the fire. By pushing back everything he couldn't handle or deal with to a corner of his mind and locking it up tight.

If Derek's mind were a hallway there'd be lines of doors on either side. Most would be old and faded. Closed but not dead bolted. Past hurts that had finally healed over. But one door in particular would be heavy metal like the door to his loft. Still solid and maintained with heavy chains and padlocks locking it tight.

His feelings for Stiles had at times felt like they were pulling on those heavy chains and fiddling with the locks. It was part of the reason he was pushing those emotions back behind a new door. One just for Stiles. He knew a lot of this had to do with Stiles’ age. Had to do with the fact he was a teenager.

Derek finally gave up on reading and set the book aside on the coffee table, but then there was nothing to do but watch Stiles fidget.

“Stiles.”

“Hm?” Stiles turned towards him, chewing on his thumbnail and looking like he'd forgotten Derek was even there.

“What do you need?”

Stiles stared. His brow furrowed in confusion. “Huh?”

“What do you need to calm down?”

They'd realized pretty quickly since the fox qualities started to manifest that Stiles’ Adderall was no longer helping him feel calmer and more focused. Just one more consequence of the transition.

“I want to go outside,” Stiles said at last. “I feel like just…running.”

“You want to go running?” Derek couldn't help but be incredulous. He had a vague memory of Scott mentioning Stiles all but collapsed before puking one time their coach had made them run laps. But Stiles was nodding and Derek found himself getting up from the couch to get his shoes.

Even though Stiles was getting better at hiding his scent from the ravens Derek still didn't feel comfortable letting him wander on his own. There was still too much risk his ability to shield what he was would slip. It had happened once before while Stiles was at lacrosse training. The only reason Stiles didn't end up seriously harmed or even killed when the ravens sensed him was because Scott had gotten to him in time.

“I want to see how fast I can go,” Stiles grinned as he tugged on his own shoes.

Derek grabbed his car keys from the coffee table. The Beacon Hills Preserve would be the safest place if Stiles wanted to run full out and it was only a short drive from the downtown area.

“Come on then.”

Stiles followed after him as Derek made his way out of the loft. Derek shutting and locking the heavy door behind him before heading to the elevator with Stiles close by his side.

Stiles was a bundle of energy next to Derek on the way down to the ground floor. Hopping from one foot to the other as he waited. Running would do him some good.

The drive out to the preserve took less than twenty minutes and Stiles was out of the car before Derek. Already moving into the trees.

“Catch me if you can!” Stiles called back over his shoulder as he took off running.

Derek closed his eyes and shook his head. Stiles may be faster now, but a wolf at top speed would always be faster than a fox.

“Come on Derek!”

Derek started off at half of what he could run if he put in effort, letting Stiles stay ahead of him. He watched him dart between trees up ahead. Happy. Free in a way that made Derek smile.

They ran like this for over twenty-five minutes until Derek started to get bored and ran full out. He easily pulled ahead of Stiles and caught him in his arms. Stiles swinging off the ground with the momentum he still had and Derek held tight to him as Stiles held on to him with an arm around his shoulders.

There was a look of absolute elation on Stiles face as Derek swung Stiles around so his feet settled back on the ground. Stiles was breathing a little hard, having pushed himself in a way Derek hadn't.

Derek touched a hand to Stiles cheek as he smiled back at him and then, Stiles kissed him.

Time almost seemed to stop as Derek kissed him back. For an instant he let himself forget that Stiles was only seventeen. He let himself enjoy the way his mouth made him feel. The way that Stiles pressed up against him, solid and warm. He let the door in his mind he'd kept his feelings for Stiles locked behind swing wide open.

Reality filtered back in slowly. In bits and pieces of sharp edged memory as chains snapped and the door on Derek’s past slid open as well.

Derek jolted back and pressed a hand to his lips. He could still taste Stiles on his tongue.

“Derek?”

Derek dropped to his knees as memories raced through his mind and when Stiles knelt then moved closer Derek held a hand out to keep him at a distance. He tried pushing it all back down. Tried envisioning the heavy door sliding shut in his mind but he could still feel Stiles kissing him and with that simple act it was like Stiles had shoved his foot in the door to keep it ajar.

“I’m sorry.” Stiles tried. “I read things wrong. I thought… I thought you liked me-”

“I do,” Derek admitted and he hated the way his voice broke when he said it. Hated the way he had to fight down the urge to reach for Stiles. Hated that he wanted to go back to kissing him. “I can’t do this though Stiles. I don’t want to be like her.”

“Like who?”

“Kate.”

“Kate? You mean Kate Argent?” Stiles faltered over the name like it left a bad taste in his mouth.

Derek squeezed his eyes shut. He could feel tears sliding down his cheeks and he dropped his hand to the ground.

“Derek.” Stiles voice was soft as he shifted closer. His fingers brushed Derek’s cheek probably to wipe his tears away and Derek flinched back. “Hey, talk to me.”

The problem was Derek didn't know how to talk about it. Or even where to start. He’d never really talked to anyone about what had happened, and every time he tried now he felt nauseous.

He remembered meeting Kate. How beautiful she was and how sweet she had seemed. How being around her had helped with the aching void Paige’s death had left inside him. How she made him feel like he wasn't just some dumb kid.

He remembered what came a few weeks later. The excuses he made when she didn't listen to him during sex. How things just happened when they'd never even been discussed.

He remembered the police coming to him about the fire. The pain and guilt and horror that had consumed him on learning his family had burned to death.

He remembered seeing Kate again for the first time in years. Her taunts. The comments on his body. On how he'd grown. The sharp sting of electricity coursing through him. How he'd tried to drag himself away from her. How scared and angry and helpless he'd felt. How in that moment when she'd leaned in close, her breath tickling his ear with her words and her lips barely brushing his skin he'd wanted to cry almost as much as he'd wanted to rip her throat out.

He remembered being chained. Tortured. The way her tongue had felt licking up along his stomach. How disgusted he’d felt with himself for being helpless in her presence once again.

Stiles curled a hand over Derek’s. His touch firm and steady in the face of Derek’s trembling. A grounding force. An anchor.

Derek finally found his voice. Forced the words he’d never spoken from between his lips. His voice shook. Each word he spoke hurt. And it was terrifying. He was terrified Stiles would be repulsed by him. Blame him. But when Stiles asked if he could hold him then pulled him close when Derek nodded, let Derek clutch at him and hide his face against his shoulder as he kept talking- he knew he was safe.

Stiles started crying at some point. Derek wasn't entirely sure when. It just registered suddenly that he felt tears against his skin that weren't his own. It may have been when he told Stiles how no was never enough. That she started hurting him during sex. That he hadn't fought back because he loved her and was scared that he’d hurt her if he lost control. Or it may have been after that when he talked about finding out his family was dead. How he knew it was all his fault. How he still felt like a monster for it.

“It wasn't your fault,” Stiles whispered against Derek’s hair in a hoarse voice. “You were hurting and vulnerable and she took advantage. It wasn't your fault.”

“I'm like her,” Derek choked and Stiles held him tighter with the words.

“You are _nothing like her_.”

“I'm in love with a teenage boy…”

“Derek, what she did, that wasn't love. It was dehumanizing and twisted and possessive. It wasn't love.” Stiles pulled back enough to look Derek in the eyes. “Would you ever do any of those things to me? Would you ever hurt me like that?”

Derek shook his head almost frantically. A wave of nausea rolled over him at the thought. God even the thought of hurting Stiles like that…of anyone hurting Stiles like that…

“That's love Derek. Wanting to keep me safe and from pain, that's love.”

Derek squeezed his eyes shut and tried to calm his breathing. Tried to gather some control over his emotions. He held onto Stiles more tightly. Wondered for a moment when he'd become his anchor.

“I wish you were older,” Derek said. His voice muffled against Stiles’ shoulder. “So loving you didn't feel wrong.”

“This might be a bad time to ask but, would you wait for me?”

Derek looked up with the words. He was sure he must have heard Stiles wrong.

“What?”

“I turn eighteen in less than three months,” Stiles explained. He raised a hand as if to touch Derek’s face but seemed to decide his shoulder was a safer place to rest his hand at the last moment. “Would you wait for me?”

“Stiles…”

“I love you.”

The words made Derek’s heart leap in his chest. He could tell Stiles meant it too. Just from the way he was looking at him. There was a certain kind of softness to his eyes, even as red rimmed from crying as they were.

“Eighteen is still really young Stiles.” Derek hated himself for saying it even as the words left his mouth. He wished he could say I love you back. He wished he could kiss him the way he wanted to. But the thought of it alone made his stomach twist horribly. Made bile rise in his throat with a surge of memory.

Derek had been too young. And Stiles was kneeling in front of him looking so young with tears staining his cheeks. What if he hurt him? What if he ruined him? What if he made him like him?

“Then we can wait until I’m nineteen, or twenty.”

Derek shook his head and looked away from Stiles’ tear streaked face. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking.” Stiles squeezed Derek’s shoulder. “I’m offering.”

“You’d really wait until you’re twenty for me?” Derek asked as he gazed at Stiles once more. “You’d wait that long?”

“I carried a torch for Lydia for way longer.” Stiles smirked. The playful, knowing one that Derek liked best. The one that made him look most like a fox. “Compared to that two years and three months is nothing.”

Derek knew Stiles was being serious. If there was one thing Stiles had it was a patient heart.

Stiles was watching Derek closely. As if he were trying to read his thoughts.

“You said you loved me,” Stiles moved in closer and for a moment Derek thought he was going to kiss him again, but he stopped a few inches from his face, “and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with just loving each other.”

“You don’t think you’re maybe a little biased?”

Stiles tilted his head from side to side before conceding, “Maybe.”

“And that doesn’t worry you?”

“No.” Stiles shook his head. “Because I know you’d never hurt me.”

Derek wiped at his face. His cheeks damp against his palms. “How would this even work?”

“Well, I guess that would depend on you and what you’re comfortable with,” Stiles said quietly. “Legally speaking there’s no law saying we can’t date, or even kiss. We just can’t have sex.”

Derek sighed. “Well morally speaking we’ve already crossed a few lines.”

Stiles waved a hand palm down as he said, “I think most questions of morality are actually subjective and open to interpretation.”

“ _Stiles_.”

Stiles made an aggravated sound. The first real sign of frustration he’d shown. “You know there’s only twelve states where seventeen is considered underage?”

Derek blinked at him in surprise. “You looked up age of consent laws?”

“Of course I looked up age of consent laws. The guy I’m madly in love with is twenty-three.”

Derek closed his eyes, thinking. He could hear the thump of Stiles’ heartbeat. Nervous. Hopeful.

“No sex or kissing until you’re twenty,” Derek said finally.

“You sure you don’t want to go with nineteen?”

“Stiles.”

“Okay. Okay. Twenty.” Stiles laughed softly, smiling wide. “Twenty is good. Twenty is great.”

“We’re going to need to figure out what else is and isn’t okay.”

Stiles nodded. “I’m okay with that.” He reached for Derek once more. His hands resting on his shoulders. "Will you be okay though?"

"I will be."

**Author's Note:**

> I actually learned a new term while writing this that defines Kate Argent.  
> Ephebophilia: A repeated and persistent sexual preference for 15-19 year olds.  
> So since Kate has shown interest in Derek as a teenager, Scott, and Jackson (and I think she may have made some comment on Stiles as well) she would most definitely be an ephebophile.  
>   
> So there’s the word of the day for you all.


End file.
